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Advertising employs numerous devices to cast its
spell. They'll contrive a problem then sell you the solution, maybe impose an
artificial time limit on availability, or the product might sing and dance!
The most ridiculous and entertaining commercial trope
is when the manufacturer associates impossibly hyperbolic, even metaphysical,
qualities with the most mundane ingredients. In my childhood, the notion that
ingesting oat flour with marshmallows brought me closer to Ireland and led to
rainbows of good fortune made Lucky Charms magically delicious indeed.
The further you look back, the more grandiose the
marketers' claims, the more irrational their promises, as protections like the
Consumer Bill of Rights were not yet enacted to safeguard against cigarettes
that cure throat polyps and lotions that send you to Heaven.
"When life's cold and blue, there's just one
thing to do: Eat Jolly Hot Peanuts 'til there's none left to chew!"
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