The fattest baby is first to be fawned over, but if
she stays that way she'll be last to the prom. The squashed, salivary nature
of a pug is irresistible while the equally droopy walrus is far less endearing
up close. E.T. was a slimy, gangly bowel movement with a kazoo voice, but he
was totally cute relative to H.R. Giger's towering, exoskeletal Alien.
When he's fully grown, we'll likely flee in
revulsion from this awkward, bucktoothed monstrosity. For now, he's just a
vulnerable wittle weirdo crying out for a coo-chee-coo.
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