Friday, November 3, 2017

Out


From a great enough distance, any exclusive club looks absurd.

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Saturday, September 30, 2017

Eighty Proof Overflow



A potent ingredient can enable or destroy the recipe. 

By the tenth hot wing, pepper turns to pain. Leftover rainwater in an overturned tire teems with microscopic life while somewhere else an entire community drowns in a monsoon. A little confidence inspires a first date; too much and you’re a sociopath. The cleanest, most efficient means of keeping our trillion devices running uninterruptedly is nuclear—until a seal breaks or the wrong person gets the codes, and then Earth is a charred, radiated husk.

Sitting here at the bar, the right number of Jack and Cokes have delivered me to this line. Time to close my tab before the writing and its author sink to regrettable depths.

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Sunday, August 13, 2017

KKK


Racism is intellectually clumsy and depends upon an unbalanced worldview.

The only way to deem an entire people inferior is to be (willfully) unaware of their accomplishments, like viewing The Grand Canyon through a paper towel roll.

Tribalism is natural, but diversity is no more unnatural than the combustion engines and computer networks that compel us to mix.

And since the world has gotten too small to segregate, we either learn to move forward in step, or we trip fatally over one another, tilling the soil for our replacement.

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Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Egg Demons


There once was an expectant hen pecking around a nuclear plant. Worse, the place was constructed over a cursed Indian burial ground.

When her eggs finally came, they were way more alive than nature ever intended...

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Sunday, June 4, 2017

Shyness


American egos are even bigger than our asses. We're always Number One, and our colors never run. Assertive as eagles. Prominent as Mount Rushmore.

Amidst so many megaphones, social squeamishness is a substantial burden. Some of us should have rather been turtles, hard-shell recluses engineered for withdrawal.

Really, we could all benefit from a strand or two of tortoise DNA. A cousin to humility, shyness is as much a spiritual asset as a political liability. Envision a nation with more listening than shouting, where restraint overrides impulse, and mindful introspection prevents thoughtless self-confidence.

Blush if you agree.

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Saturday, April 22, 2017

Edna's Herbs


Children naturally hyperbolize the world. From their novel point of view, they experience everyday life in a partial dream state. To a new mind, reality is a caricature of itself.

The interior of the family car at night, with all its illuminated controls and aqua-neon readouts, becomes the cockpit of a spaceship. The doctor's needle looks and feels like a harpoon! Skittles really are pellets of solidified rainbows.

And that unfriendly elderly lady down the street, with the overgrown garden from which you must uneasily retrieve your lost ball, is a terrible plant-woman just waiting to ensnare you in tendrils, cast some wicked botanical spell, and pot your freckled little ass like cilantro.

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Friday, March 3, 2017

Tabloid Carnival



We've come to value attention over the reason for it, turning heads by any means necessary.

But there's only so much meaningful notoriety to go around, and most of us aren't going to come up with a vaccine or win a Grammy.

So fools rush center stage, bucking and braying for the camera like jackasses! Each resounding hee-haw lowering the standard for recognition as it drowns the signal in dumb, hollow noiseand the country is too busy taking a cinnamon challenge to vote down the forces taking our future.

To influence this circus, the visionaries will have to get a lot louder and learn to juggle.  Chainsaws. On a flaming unicycle.

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